Forgiving your partner for cheating is difficult – but some people can make it work.
For most people, getting cheated on is an absolute dealbreaker. No one likes to think that their partner would rather be with someone else and, even if the affair was a one-time thing, it could still plant seeds of doubt into your head about whether your significant other actually wants to be with you – and whether they’ll do it again.
One man who managed to forgive his wife for cheating, however, has been living happily with her for over a decade. He believed everything was fine in their relationship, and they went on to have two kids together – but he’s recently found out a shocking detail that changes everything.
In a post on Reddit, the man said his wife initially cheated on him with her boss 10 years ago, and the affair caused the couple to “separate briefly”. A year later, the pair reconciled, and they’ve been together ever since.
He explained that they were able to reconcile because his wife transferred out of the office where her boss worked, so he felt sure the affair – which had already ended – wouldn’t start up again. However, his wife has now dropped a huge bombshell on him – her old boss is working on the same team as her again, and they’ve been “texting a lot.”
The man wrote: “I’ve been told it’s mostly professional, but they are friends. They go out for staff drinks together. They give each other rides to events. They text on weekends (work-related or otherwise). She has told me they are friends, she enjoys his company, he’s happily married, and I would get along with him if I got to know him (I’ve refused).”
He went on to say that although he trusts his wife, he’s been “having a hard time” with the news. He has tried communicating his feelings to his wife, but she insists they’re “just colleagues and friends”, and has told him he’s “overreacting”.
Warning: Below post may contain offensive language
He added: “We’re pretty open and generally accept we don’t tell each other what the other can and cannot do or whom they can be friends with. When I tell her that I can’t handle how close they’re becoming again, and it’s f***ing me up a little, she tells me it seems like I’m giving her an ultimatum.”
Commenters on the post largely sided with the man, as many of them told him he was “underreacting” rather than overreacting, and that it’s “just a matter of time” before his wife starts another affair.
One person said: “Professional is one thing, but some necessary distance should be the default. Friendship should be out of the question. If she had any real appreciation for her marriage, she’d understand what’s appropriate and wouldn’t be pursuing friendship and more with him again.”
Another added: “What she is doing is completely disrespectful to you. The only type of communication she should have with him should be at work. There is no need for texts and rides to work events together.”
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