Known for her candid opinions on Loose Women, she now serves as Britain’s most straightforward advice columnist, addressing issues related to sex, relationships, and life challenges.
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Dear Coleen
We are facing a challenging situation with our 13-year-old daughter who has been avoiding school for an extended period. Initially, she skipped a few days, but now she has been absent for almost a full academic year, with occasional exceptions. Despite our hopes for her return this year, she experienced intense meltdowns leading up to the new term.
The school has been supportive, maintaining communication and sending work home, although motivating her to complete it has been difficult. Despite receiving counseling for anxiety, she has not been able to resume school attendance. This situation is taking a toll on the entire family.
The strain is evident on my marriage as my husband and I constantly argue about our daughter. I had to quit my job to be present for her, and my older son is exhibiting behavioral issues, likely due to the focus being on his sister.
I am concerned that her prolonged absence will not only impact her academically but also socially, although she does maintain friendships with a few local peers. I am desperate for guidance in this challenging situation.
Coleen’s Advice
Following the Covid-related lockdowns, many children appear to be struggling in the school environment. It is commendable that you are actively collaborating with your daughter’s school and local authorities to address and resolve the situation.
Given her age, this is a crucial period as her peers are laying the groundwork for their GCSEs.
The pressure on family dynamics, particularly on you for sacrificing your job to support her, is evident. Maintaining a consistent routine and structure at home is essential to outline expectations for her. Children thrive on routine as it provides a sense of security and predictability.
Avoid overindulging her to maintain peace. If she has tasks to complete, ensure she does them, or there should be consequences. Consider restricting her phone usage or outings as a disciplinary measure. Establishing boundaries is crucial.
While she is not attending school, enroll her in various social clubs that align with her interests, such as dance or gymnastics. This will establish a routine and provide you with some respite.
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