Known for her straightforward approach on Loose Women, she is now recognized as Britain’s most candid agony aunt, providing guidance on issues related to sex, relationships, and life challenges.
Dear Coleen
Following the recent finalization of my divorce, I expected relief and joy to kick in, signaling a new chapter. However, I’m feeling somewhat adrift.
Surprisingly, I find myself almost longing for the turmoil and arguments with my ex-partner. It had consumed my focus for a significant period.
I’m at a loss on how to proceed and unclear about what lies ahead.
Throughout the marriage, my energy was dedicated to catering to my ex’s constant demands and confrontations.
I was constantly trying to mediate and maintain peace with him.
Everything revolved around him – his extreme self-centeredness was evident.
After the separation, the divorce process escalated, with him being uncooperative on all fronts – child arrangements, property, finances, and more.
It feels strange that it’s all over now, and I no longer have to engage in battles with him. It has created a void, leaving me unsure of how to fill it.
I’m curious to know if this reaction is normal and if you have any advice on navigating life post-divorce.
Coleen’s Response
Upon breaking free from a toxic relationship, it’s common to experience a phase similar to what you’re going through – feeling lost and possibly bored due to the absence of drama.
People often seek comfort in familiarity, even if it’s unhealthy or traumatic.
Now that it’s all behind you, there is a void to fill. However, you now have the freedom to make decisions for yourself, which is empowering.
Having gone through two divorces myself, I can relate to moments of uncertainty post-separation. It can be daunting.
This period is akin to a grieving process with various stages and emotions. Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. Remember why the