A renowned panelist on Loose Women, she is now recognized as Britain’s most direct advice columnist, offering guidance on issues related to sex, relationships, and life challenges.
For inquiries, contact her at dearcoleen@mirror.co.uk. Please note that personal responses are not possible. You can also reach out by mail at Coleen Nolan, The Daily Mirror, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP. Don’t forget to subscribe to her weekly newsletter available every Saturday via bit.ly/MirrorColeen.
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Dear Coleen,
Several months back, I was unfaithful to my long-distance partner. While at a club, I kissed another guy and spent the night next to him, though we did not engage in sexual activity.
After confessing my actions to my boyfriend a couple of days later, he ended the relationship. I am puzzled by why I disclosed what happened, as it was not significant, and I remain deeply in love with him. The distance and loneliness due to his university studies may have influenced my actions. I regret my mistake immensely.
Since June, we have had no contact, and he is not expected back until October. Coping with my actions has been challenging, and I wish I could turn back time. Despite reassurances from friends, I have not moved on from him. Reuniting with him is my fervent desire, but I fear I have ruined any chance of reconciliation.
I am convinced he is my soulmate. How can I overcome this if our relationship is truly over?
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Coleen advises,
First and foremost, be kinder to yourself. You are young, and while your actions were regrettable, they were not unforgivable. Your honesty with your ex should be commended, as you could have chosen to deceive him but opted for truth.
Perhaps the incident signals underlying issues in the long-distance dynamic. Maintaining such a relationship is demanding, particularly at your age when social circles and activities are paramount. The strain of distance may have proven too much for both of you.
Consider reaching out to him upon his return to discuss your feelings, but understand that sustaining an exclusive relationship from afar may be unfeasible. Such a setup can be overwhelming.
In the event that the relationship has concluded permanently, rest assured that, having experienced heartbreak myself, healing and moving forward is possible. It will take time, so focus on enjoying life with friends and engaging in fulfilling activities. Eventually, you will wake up one day and realize that you have progressed beyond missing him. Best of luck.